By the age of 3, the baby’s psyche is rapidly developing. He understands a lot, knows and does on his own, talks. Feels like a person independent of their parents. Builds new relationships with them, the world around them, explores the boundaries, declares his independence. In child psychology, this period is called a crisis of 3 years in a child.
Features of the psychology of a three-year-old baby
By the age of three, the guys are physically developed, active, have control of the body. The psyche is developing rapidly. Toddlers explore the world around them and realize that they can influence it – they are delighted. They perform actions, see their results. They get to know themselves, “try on” different roles, imitate adults. A three-year-old baby does not hold on to his mother so much – separation occurs.
At the age of three, children can do a lot on their own and they like it. They expand their boundaries: they decide what to do and what not. The period “I myself!” Begins: the child wants to do everything on his own. Or doesn’t want to. On this basis, a conflict occurs: the baby cannot do everything himself, his parents take care of him, help him. Intra- and interpersonal conflict manifests itself in the form of hysteria, denial, sobbing. These are signs of a three-year-old child’s crisis.
When does the crisis stage begin?
It can start at 2.5 – 3.5 years. It depends on the individual characteristics of the child’s development. In modern children, it begins earlier than 3 years old.
The duration of the three-year crisis and its manifestations are different for everyone . By the age of 4, most children pass it. How long the period lasts depends on the upbringing, the situation in the family and the position of the parents.
Mom and Dad understand what is happening to the child, react adequately to “bad” behavior – the child will go through the crisis stage faster and better.
Symptoms of the three-year crisis
In child psychology, there are 7 symptoms of a three-year crisis:
- Negativism. You ask your daughter or son to do something – he refuses. Reason: the initiator of the proposal is not a tiny one;
- Obstinacy. The child protests against the way of life. In families where there is no single line of upbringing, the manifestations are more acute. The reason is similar to the first option;
- Stubbornness. A child in a three-year crisis makes a decision and insists on it. He is offered an interesting alternative – he stands his ground. Reason: it is important for a crumb to recognize his opinion, desires;
- Self-will. The child seeks to do everything on his own. It doesn’t always work out. Parents do for him – they run into hysterics. Reason: they deprived the child of the joy of independent activity;
- Riot. You decide or do for a crumb with the best intentions – you run into a violent protest. Reason: he wants himself;
- Depreciation. During the three-year crisis, the child’s attitude to his favorite toys and people changes. He tears up books, breaks toys, calls names, bites. Reason: explores the boundaries of what is permitted;
- Despotism. The child tries to get adults to do what he wants. It’s good. He studies and does not know how to get it right.
The manifestations of the three-year crisis are called the seven-star.
Causes of the crisis in a 3-year-old child
It consists in the transition from early age to preschool. Its mechanism is the formation of new personality traits of the child, the transition to a new model of interaction with the outside world.
The three-year crisis is an indicator of the normal mental development of the baby. It will pass. How quickly this happens depends on the attitude of the relatives to what is happening.
Parents do not notice changes in the child, do not adapt the interaction model – the three-year crisis will be acute and difficult. They change the style of communication with the offspring – he will quickly and easily move to the next level.
A crisis is a stage before a new round in the mental, intellectual improvement of a little person. The task of the parents is to help him go through the period gently and profitably.
The outcome of the crisis depends on the adults. Independence, the beginnings of leadership qualities, will, pride in one’s achievements are signs of an adequate formation of a small person and the goal of the period.
Helping a child to cope with a three-year crisis
Psychologists give general recommendations to parents:
- Admit it: your child is growing up and changing. Respect and encourage the desire for independence, decision-making, and achieving what you want. The kid does it wrong, your task is to teach how to do it correctly;
- Change yourself. Show patience, flexibility. Allow and trust more. Expand responsibilities and rights, the child does not ask you for help – do not interfere;
- Be firm. The child should know: if something is not allowed, then it should not always be. All close relatives must adhere to the line of conduct;
- React calmly to tantrums. At the age of 3, the child cannot control his emotions. During a tantrum, give time to calm down. Hug, pick up, stroke. Do not shout, do not shake, do not slap on the bottom;
- Respect the child. At the age of 3, he feels like an adult. Talk to him on an equal footing, ask for his opinion.
Always love your baby, no matter how angry he may be with his behavior.
Three-Year Crisis: Behavior in Different Situations
You will be faced with different situations and reactions of the child. How to behave in them? Psychologists give recommendations for different cases.
How to get around negativism in a three-year-old
First, ask the child about his desire. Do not offer directly, but ask: do you want?
Second, offer joint activities. Or with a teddy bear, a doll, a typewriter. As you complete the action, recite a verse or sing a related song.
Third, in the question, suggest options. Instead of “Are you hungry?” ask: “What kind of porridge will you be – oatmeal or semolina?”
Fourth, use the child’s negativity against him. For example, you plan to go for a walk, the child is stubborn. Say: “We will not go for a walk!” From a feeling of negativism, the baby can ask for a walk.
How to beat a stubborn and stubborn kid
In a three-year crisis, a red herring is at work. The kid refuses to fulfill your request – distract him. In a few minutes, he will forget about his objection and agree with you.
When communicating with a little stubborn, do not insist on your own, wait 5 minutes – he will ask for something that he recently refused.
How to respond to the desire for independence
The thirst for independence in a three-year crisis is natural and commendable. Do not suppress this desire in the bud. Praise – for trying to do and the result you get. You will form high self-esteem, self-confidence, you will recognize the baby as clever and good – this is important for a person at any age.
How to deal with a little rebel
If you forbid the kid to do what he wants, get ready for a riot. The child wants to make some noise in the apartment – let me. Active kids throw out their energy and emotions in such a way.
If you do not give them a way out, tantrums, tears and anger cannot be avoided. Stress builds up with age. He finds a way out in the form of aggression, masturbation. The child’s immunity decreases, he gets sick more often.
How to respond to depreciation
First, take it easy. Is the kid breaking toys or being pinched? This is not an act of aggression, but a way to explore the world and how people react to their actions. This is typical of a three-year-old crisis in a child.
Secondly, the child has accumulated energy. Offer him to run, jump.
Third, set boundaries. The child does not understand that his actions can be unpleasant and painful for other people. Explain that pinching is not good, it hurts. Offer an alternative – stroking, kissing.
How to communicate with a little boss
Has your child turned into a despot? Rejoice: he shows leadership qualities. Your task is to set the vector of their correct formation. To do this, in a three-year-old child’s crisis, give in in “little things”. Let him be wrong – this is his personal experience. He studies on it during this period.
When you need the help of a psychologist
Contact a specialist if:
You cannot deal with a child. Don’t know how to behave in different situations;
The behavior of the crumbs makes you fearful;
The baby has neurological problems;
The child is 4 years old. His behavior is not stabilized.
The psychologist will show you the problem points, suggest the correct model of behavior with the child. It will give a small client a feeling of adulthood, help to overcome the crisis and get out of it.